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… which is very annoying

Life can pass us by so quickly and what seems vitally important at five or 25 somehow loses its intensity at 50 and just when we think we've got life figured out – it's over. I recently found an intriguing and insightful `summary' of life in a Victoria University student mag – credited to Uther Dean – and I've taken more than a little `poetic' licence to re-write it from a farmer's perspective.

Remember when you are 3 and you want to be a farmer? Now you are 5 and off to school telling everybody you want to stay home and help dad on the farm. You are 8 and have got your first calf at calf club and clean up the dairy section. You are 10 and your parents are splitting up and your head is smashed in little pieces on the ground, and it's the worst thing that has ever happened to you, except now you are 15 and you can see it is the best thing.

You are 16 making plans to be a farmer and resisting studying hard at school. You are 17 and fallen in love and then you are 18 leaving school - and your first love - and it hurts.

You are working crazy hours on a dairy farm and now you are 20. You have been playing a lot of rugby and you have fallen madly in love and are to marry and now you are 23. You are 10 foot tall and starting to tell the boss what to do.

You borrow to buy cows and lease a farm and you have a kid on the way coz you are 25.

You are 35, pay the herd off and Dad helps you buy you first farm.

Now you are 45 and a recession had bitten you and you learn fast how to manage your cash better. You hit 50 and wonder how everybody else is sane 'coz you are having a mid-life crisis but manage to hang onto everything by the skin of your teeth.

Now you are 60 and on the drainage board and not as fit as you were and now you are 64 and wondering what happened.
It's a miracle that the world hasn't exploded or shaken to bits and you are 70 and not feeling as sharp as you were.
The world is going so fast you wish you were 5 years old again and telling the teacher you wanted to be a farmer.

And now you are 85 and things are actually starting to make sense and then you're 86 and are dead … which is very annoying.


 

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